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Perfectionism

March 23, 2018

 

Ahhh, perfectionism.

 

You and I are long time frienemies. 

 

For years I erroneously thought you were an asset in my life. 

 

I convinced myself that perfectionism was a characteristic that drove me to take action. 

 

Does it?

 

Lasting positive change always comes from a place of love. 

 

Not unrealistic expectations.  

 

Being perfect is unrealistic, my friend.

 

Perfectionism, in the past, has kept me small. 

 

Perfectionists are scaredy-cats 

 

Do you know what they are afraid of?

 

Failure.

 

They think failing will say something about their inherent worth.

 

Or at the very least others will think less of them.

 

"I'm not going to do that because I might fail."

 

"I might look stupid if I try..."

 

"What will people think?"

 

"What if I fail?"

 

So how can we get past the paralyzing hold that perfectionism sometimes has on us?

 

One question I like to ask myself when thoughts of, 'What if I fail?' or 'What will people think?' surface is this:

 

'So what?'

 

'So what if people think I'm stupid?'

 

'So what if it doesn't turn out exactly how I hope?'

 

'So what if I fail miserably?'

 

So. what.

 

Failure is just information, mama. 

 

Data, if you will.

 

You get to decide what you make that failure mean. 

 

Think of a big goal that you want to accomplish.

 

Maybe it's losing weight.

 

Or strengthening your relationship with your mother-in-law.

 

Maybe it's starting your own business.

 

Now decide right now that when you fail along the way (because if you are trying hard enough, you will), you aren't going to beat yourself up about it!

 

Picture yourself failing big, and imagine that, instead of relentless self-criticism, you look at the failure as a teacher.

 

A life lesson.

 

What went wrong? 

 

How can I learn from this experience?

 

What will I do different when I pick myself up and try again?

 

See the difference?

 

 What lesson will you learn from today's failures?

 

Go big, mama.

 

For a hilarious and insightful Ted Talk on failure and rejection, click here.

 

 

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