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Let Them Struggle

April 9, 2018

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about suffering.

 

Sounds fun, right?

 

Particularly about how I hate to see my children suffer. 

 

It isn't right!

 

It isn't fair! 

 

Kids shouldn't go through hard things!

 

Right?

 

Or should they?

 

Of course they should.

 

Isn't that what life is all about? 

 

Learning from our trials.

 

Isn't that really why we're here?

 

Why do we think it should be any different for our children?

 

For me--at least in part--it is painful for ME to WATCH my kids struggle.

 

I don't like that watching them hurting makes ME feel terrible.

 

One of my children is having a harder time than the others with our upcoming move. 

 

She has been really sad about it. 

 

In the past I would have done anything and everything to try to take that sadness away from her.

 

But this time, I've made a conscious effort to do my best to just allow her to be sad.

 

I've tried to give her space to grieve the closing of this chapter of our family's life.

 

I've let her be upset.

 

While I still offer her suggestions about how she might choose to look at our moving situation in a different way, 

 

I don't hang my happiness on whether or not she's happy about these changes.

 

And that has been such an eye-opeing change for me. 

 

One way or another, my daughter is going to learn from this experience. 

 

This trial will give her experience and be for her good.

 

I'm certain of it. 

 

And one day, maybe even she will see it as a learning and growing period in her life. 

 

When we take our children's trials away from them, we often unintentionally say, 

 

"You aren't strong enough to handle this, so I'll do it for you."

 

We can help them.

 

We can love them.

 

We can support them.

 

But we don't need to make everything in life easy for them.

 

The obstacles are the way to a more extraordinary life. 

 

Happy Monday, mamas.

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