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Why Being Kind to Yourself is the Only Way to Be

May 14, 2018

 

Let's talk about kindness today, shall we?

 

Many of us are endlessly kind to others. 

 

But when it comes to being kind with ourselves...

 

we are terrible at it.

 

Why???

 

I think I know at least one of the reasons:

 

We erroneously believe that if we beat ourselves up enough, we can change our behavior.

 

It's a total lie.

 

Let's take the example of speaking kindly when it comes to our bodies.

 

Often our inner voice is so cruel. 

 

We say things to ourselves that we would NEVER in a million years say to another person.

 

'I hate my thunder thighs.'

 

'I've let myself go. I'm so fat.'

 

'I'll never reach my goal weight. I'm such a loser.'

 

As your friend, if I were to speak to you this way

 

we wouldn't be friends for very long.

 

So the question is this:

 

Why are you allowing yourself to say such unkind things? 

 

Why is our inner voice so cruel?

 

I think that one of the reasons is this:

 

We think that we can beat ourselves up into changing.

 

Can we?

 

Tell me, how is that working out for you?

 

I don't know about you, but when I speak to myself in such a cruel way, 

 

I don't feel motivated at all.

 

I feel like pulling the covers back over my head and eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. 

 

The opposite of beating ourselves up would be to speak to ourselves with love and compassion, right?

 

'I am thankful for a body that gets me where I need to go.'

 

'I am capable of doing hard things and accomplishing big goals.'

 

'I am enough exactly as I am.'

 

'I am a daughter of God.'

 

Don't fall into the trap of believing that if you accept and love yourself, you'll never be motivated to change.

 

The opposite is true, mama.

 

When we love and accept ourselves as we are, we help foster the confidence, commitment, and determination we need to make positive lasting changes. 

 

But you need to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. 

 

And here's the tricky part: Your brain needs to believe those positive thoughts or it won't work.

 

I love what Boyd K. Packer said on this subject of changing our thoughts:

 

 

 A hundred times! You know what that means? 

 

It means that changing negative thoughts won't happen overnight.

 

So remember that when you are working to replace them with kinder words..

 

it takes awhile.

 

It takes practice to learn to quiet the negative voices in your head.

 

And that's OK.

 

You've got time.

 

Keep at it, sister. 

 

It's worth every single effort. 

 

Changing your thoughts really can change your life. 

 

Share this post with someone who would benefit from some self-kindness (and really, who wouldn't?)

 

Boyd K. Packer's entire discourse found here

 

 

 

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