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June 8, 2018

 

 

Confession:

 

I can be a little bit dramatic.

 

Okay, a lot dramatic.

 

I have been known to take a situation and blow it out of proportion in my mind. 

 

Let's say, hypothetically, that my daughter doesn't hang up her bathroom towel after she showers.

 

I have taught her repeatedly that wet towels should not reside on the floors of bedrooms.

 

Yet that is continually where her towel resides.

 

Sometimes, instead of just seeing it simply as a blue towel on the floor, 

 

I see it as disrespect.

 

Inability to follow through.

 

A future adult who isn't capable of cleaning up after herself. 

 

She'll end up living in a pigsty forever!

 

And she'll teach her children to be little piglets as well!

 

This is completely unacceptable and I must not allow it to happen!

 

And then sometimes (ahem...most times...) I go to another extreme:

 

'Why do I have to be the one to teach the kids everything???!!! If my husband didn't get caught up at work so much, my life would be way easier....poor me (and this is where I usually cue the violins).'

 

See what my brain did there?

 

Dramatic, I tell you. 

 

When I catch my brain doing this, 

 

I try to zoom out. 

 

Zooming out is the idea that, instead of fixating and obsessing and zooming in on the little things (say, like a wet towel on the floor),

 

you instead step back and take a look at the whole picture. 

 

And ask yourself, 

 

'Is this really that important? '

 

'After all, it is just a towel.'

 

'And, I mean, I don't do EVERYTHING. My husband is seeing patients right now and working to provide for our family. '

 

Like my wise mother-in-law taught me years ago, 

 

"If it won't affect eternity, don't let it bother you."

 

Now, that doesn't mean that I don't continue to make requests of my daughter to clean up after herself.

 

I can do that all the live-long day if I want.

 

I can brainstorm and try to problem-solve and figure out all sorts of potential solutions to the towel conundrum.

 

But I don't do it from the mindset that she is being disrespectful or that she will end up living in filth if I don't demand she change. 

 

I do it because I love her. 

 

And I want to teach her. 

 

Then, instead of feeling disrespected, 

 

or frustrated, 

 

or even disgusted, 

 

or self-pity,

 

the emotion driving me is LOVE.

 

And love is my most favorite emotion.

 

So next time you find yourself freaking out over a wet blue towel on the bedroom floor--

 

 

Zoom out. 

 

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