Pretend you are Talking to an Alien

August 15, 2018


How could the title of this post relate in any way to self-improvement?


Let me explain it, mama. 


Last month I did a post on 4 steps to processing emotion. 


You should really read it. 


Learning to process emotion is truly life-changing.


I think they should teach kids in preschool how to do it. 


But it's never too late to learn. 


I want to share one tip with you about processing emotion:


Pretend you are describing what the emotion feels like to an alien.


Not a Stranger Things alien.


That's creepy.


More like the cute little Pizza Planet aliens in Toy Story. 


Imagine those little green guys.


And when you are imagining this whole "talking to an alien scenario," 


also imagine that they have no idea what emotions even are, 


much less what they feel like. 


So you can't be vague.


"Shame feels awful" won't help you get out of your head and into your body.


And the alien won't know what you're talking about.


Remember, you're hypothetically describing it to him.


So get in touch with what the emotion feels like inside your body, 


then you can get out of your head. 


Remember, getting out of you head makes you the watcher of your emotions. 


That's important. 


Let's take on the emotion of deprivation for example. 


This is for all my peeps who are trying to eat healthy but think they'd rather die than deprive themselves of drinking soda or eating too many double stuffed Oreos.


I'm talking to you


Next time you feel the sting of deprivation come on, 


describe what it feels like as if you were talking to an alien.


Someone who had never ever felt deprivation before.


To me, 


I feel deprivation mostly in my stomach. 


It's heavy and hollow at the same time.


My chest also feels weighted, too.


And sometimes my fingers tingle.


And I also feel it in my throat and temples, almost like a tapping. 


That's what deprivation feels like to me.


That's it.


It's not so bad, really. 


I mean, processing negative emotion doesn't feel good,


But for some reason, 


most of us would do just about anything to avoid feeling deprived.


Including carrying around unwanted weight that's affecting our physical health. 


The more you process emotion, 


the better you get at it.


And you just might find out that you've been living your whole life avoiding something that's really not that big of a deal.


Seriously sister, you can totally handle a little deprivation.


And once you process the emotion, 


you can remind yourself that it's all coming from thoughts in your brain. 


And you can change those thoughts...


from something like, "I'm not allowed to eat anything that actually tastes good in order to be healthy. This is the worst."




"I'm choosing to eat this way because I care about my health," 




"I wonder if it's possible to enjoy broccoli? I mean, some people do..."


"Maybe it's possible that salads actually taste better than Doritos or Pop Tarts...some people think that's true..."


Once you get good at processing negative emotion, 


You'll get to a place where you aren't afraid to feel it. 


and that place is would be magic. 


 Because nothing can stop you.


Fear of failure,








they won't have anything on you.



Just a side note to all my peeps in the midst of changing their eating habits, 


the more you are willing to sit with those feelings of deprivation, 


the less they come knocking. 


And you'll slowly change your mindset around food.


Promise it gets easier. 


Keep going. 


And one day in the near future you just might discover that water actually tastes way better than Diet Coke. 



I learned the Alien analogy from Brooke Castillo. 


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